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First Time Second Time

~ Thoughts on relationships, roles, taking turns, gender and parenting from a queer family

First Time Second Time

Category Archives: Shared parenting

Being the only mom vs. being one of a pair

April 23, 2014

I have been chewing on this post for a long time. I am a non-gestational parent to my youngest child, …

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Best mom ever

June 26, 2013

I have a confession to make. For a long time I was part of a two-mom family. My spouse and …

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Editing

February 1, 2013

We have a long history of heavily editing children’s books on the fly. When Leigh was little, there were all …

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Two questions

May 14, 2012

I was reading through this list of possibly “genderqueer” or non-binary gender definitions, and found a theme that may have …

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Mom titles, the kindergarten edition

January 6, 2012

Leigh started kindergarten this fall. She’s doing great and we are slowly adjusting to being parents of a “school-age” kid. …

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Mother or Father?

September 15, 2011

I’m enjoying the writing prompts on queer parenting at Regular Midwesterners, so I took a go at their second question. …

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The Nursing Triad

October 13, 2010

Lex made a beautiful post a while back about her experiences as an non-gestational parent (NGP) once her 13-month-old was …

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Who should birth the baby?

October 1, 2010

Since many lesbian couples contain two working uteri, and possibly two women willing to conceive, choosing who will try to …

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A perk of shared parenting: guilt-free travel (by myself)

August 22, 2010

For the first time since Ira’s birth, I’m on my way to a professional conference. For five days, someone else …

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Nighttime Parenting Guilt

June 20, 2010

Lyn and I have had a large number of different nighttime parenting arrangements. When I was still nursing Ira (and …

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About Us

We are Gail, a queer mom, and Ezekiel, a trans dad, parents to Leigh (born 2006) and Ira (born 2009). We've been writing here about the challenging and amazing parts of queer parenting since 2008. Prior to Ezekiel's transition, we thought of ourselves as a two-mom family. We've preserved that writing under his old pseudonym Lyn and old posts by Gail. You can read more about us here.
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New Here?

If you came here looking for information about trans* issues or transition, start with the post "Are we there yet?" and work your way forward or just poke around the "Transition" category.

If you want transition from the partner's point of view, check out the category "Trans* Partner."

If you are a non-gestational parent, we've written tons for you! You can follow the category "NGP issues".

If you are interested in induced lactation, see this wrap up post by Gail.

Categories

  • Before the baby
    • Another baby?
    • Pregnancy and birth
    • Trying to Concieve / Before Baby
  • Best of FTST
  • Coming out
  • Family of origin
  • Inducing lactation
  • Interacting with the world
  • Links and Reviews
  • Nursing and bottle feeding
  • Parenting
  • Queer & Trans* Families
  • Roles and Relationships
    • Donor conception
    • Gender
    • GP (gestational parent) issues
    • NGP (non-gestational parent) issues
    • Shared parenting
    • Siblings
  • Switching uteri
  • Trans* Partner
  • Transition
    • Physical transition
    • Social transition
    • Transition and Kids
    • Transition at work
    • Transition in LTR
  • Uncategorized
  • Work-Family issues

Archive

Blogroll

  • Adventures of a trans man
  • Bionic mamas
  • Breaking into blossom
  • Daddyhood Transcribed
  • Day daddy night daddy
  • Evolving gender
  • Insert metaphor
  • Joe's transition
  • Matt Kailey: Tranifesto
  • My life without tits
  • Neutrois nonsense
  • Planting rainbows
  • Queer dads
  • Queer rock love
  • Southeast soffa
  • The falco project
  • Visibly transparent

Resources for Trans* Partners

  • ’Is this the ‘New Normal?’ Suggestions for Coping with the Tough Parts of Your Partner’s Transition
  • ElectricDade (YouTube) YouTube channel of Dade, which also features videos by Dade’s wife Tiffany.
  • Elspeth Brown's Transpartner's Project This has a list of resources including academic papers and multimedia (video, etc.)
  • en|Gender Blog & resources, including forum & email list, for all, but leans toward partners of trans women
  • Everyday to Stay Short documentary by Chase Joynt about two couples in which one partner is an FTM man
  • FTMSweethearts YouTube collab channel featuring partners of trans men.
  • How to support FTM partner or SOFFA
  • My life with a transman Possibly abandoned blog by a partner of a transitioning man
  • Permission to Live Blog by former fundamentalist/quiverfull mom, now lesbian partnered trans woman parenting 5 kids.
  • TMatesFTM (YouTube) An active YouTube collab channel featuring partners of FTM people.
  • Trans-positioned by Loree Cook-Daniels Perspectives specifically for lesbian-identified partners of FTM men
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